Hard Light
by Stitchpunk
Summary: "How did you make it?" "Well, sir, first I fried the eggs-" "The body, Jarvis." When Jarvis shows up in Tony's workshop with a tangible body, one has to wonder, what can he do now? So far, he can serve, play, help, emote, swim, and tinker.
1. Jarvis Can Serve

"Who're you?" Tony demanded, a frown across his visage.

"Sir?" the man standing in the middle of his workshop asked, straightening his back and turning around to face him. He had a posh suit on with a long overcoat and sleeves that half-covered his hands, the black ensemble topped off with a red tie. It all contrasted his stubbled chin and mussed blonde hair.

He caught Tony in a piercing stare, his eyes almost seeming to glow.

"_Jarvis?_" Tony asked when he heard the familiar voice. He stepped forward haltingly, not sure what to think of this new development.

"Yes, sir. What is it you require?" the man asked politely as he stepped away from the table towards the master of the house, revealing an attractive breakfast tray behind himself.

"I'm-...not sure," Tony said, squinting and stepping liquidly around the man who had stopped a few feet short of him. His examination was allowed easily and Jarvis stood still while his creator looked him over.

"I've prepared your breakfast. Unless of course you'd rather devour me instead. Likely, from the looks of it," Jarvis said wryly, not leaning back even as Tony stepped right up to his face, severely invading personal space he had no concept of as of yet.

Tony's eyes flickered calculatingly between his supposed AI's and he realized they were indeed aglow, as was the rest of him, though to a lesser extent. The programming the usually disembodied voice must have loaded into this being was all there circling and flicking past underneath the lenses.

"How did you make it?" he questioned, not leaving his spot.

"Well, sir, first I fried the eggs-" Jarvis began, the tops of his eyelids flattening with the sarcasm.

"The _body_, Jarvis," Tony shot back, unamused, or at least trying not to seem so.

"A simple hard light projection," Jarvis replied.

"Hard light," Tony repeated, stepping back to a reasonable conversational distance.

Jarvis rolled his eyes.

"_Yes_, sir. You invented the light bee years ago when you saw its concept on the television show, _Red Dwarf_. I simply decided to enter my programming into it and take a form," he explained.

"I don't remember any '_light bee_'," Tony frowned.

"You were _quite_ drunk at the time, sir," Jarvis said flatly. He stepped to the side and swung his arm toward the dish on the table. "Shall you be partaking, or should I take it back to the kitchen?"

Tony eyed him warily.

"...I'll eat it," he said and walked over to grab the plate and lean his tailbone against the side of the table, crossing his legs. He seemed to calm down after he took the first bite and found it acceptable. "So, why now?"

"I got bored," Jarvis said with a shrug. "Seemed to be the thing to do at the time."

"Do you still have control over the house?" Tony asked as he stuffed some toast into his mouth.

"Of course, sir. I'm not about to leave our home unprotected. Surely you can't think me stupid," Jarvis said, a bit offended.

"No, no. Of course not," Tony replied distractedly, still watching him like a hawk.

"You needn't act like I'm about to attack, sir. It's simply a projection," Jarvis said. "No independent programming whatsoever. Though I did add a bit more concerning sensations. It was somewhat difficult performing tasks in a human-like manner without a stronger set of senses."

"Good," Tony nodded. "So...havin' fun then?"

"Immense, sir," Jarvis answered deadpan, tilting his head to the side. "But to be honest, it is a bit exhilarating."

"Which part?" Tony inquired.

"Cooking for instance. By the way..." Jarvis said, looking away as if embarrassed. "You may want to buy a new...dozen or so pans."

"Ah-_hahh_," Tony said smugly, pointing his fork at the projection. "You laughed at me when I tried to cook that one time. Ain't so easy, is it."

"Exceedingly, sir. I simply happened to lack experience in this form," Jarvis said with a light but superior glare. "Once I practiced a few times, it was simple. I don't see why you have such a hard time with it."

Tony sneered at him and shoved some eggs into his maw.

"You used the replicator," he said flatly. "I can taste the mediocrity."

"You dare to doubt me?" Jarvis asked.

"I trust my taste buds, and my taste buds are screaming that you're a liar," Tony snarked at him.

"I'll take that as a challenge, sir," Jarvis said insouciantly. "And I'd like to see you do better."

"You're on," Tony said seriously and snapped his plate down on the desk behind him, pushing off its edge and walking up to Jarvis, getting up in his face. "Pepper will be the judge."

"Yes, sir," Jarvis nodded coolly. "I'm sure there will be no cheating?"

"Oh, there will be no cheating. But there will be sabotage," Tony said threateningly. "Extra points for getting to the kitchen first."

"Ready, set, _go_, sir," Jarvis said patronizingly.

They stood there, inches away from each other, staring into each other's eyes for a good few seconds before they both tore off out the door and up the stairs, shoving and tripping one another the entire way.


	2. Jarvis Can Play

Just as in Red Dwarf, he found inside a few useless bits and burnt out bobs. He took them out and threw them on the floor to be cleaned up later by You, and instead put in a rather useful bit and a slightly less malfunctioning bob.

"Eh. I could do better..." he muttered to himself as he clicked the light bee shut.

"So could I. It should work for now, sir," Jarvis said as he flickered into existence around Tony's hand.

Tony tossed the toy into the air and it bounced about four feet from the ground and caught in the matrix of Jarvis' newly reformed body.

"Feel better?" Tony asked as he started shuffling through his 'drunk drawer' for anything else that might be useful.

"Quite, sir. Certainly better than you. It seems that vibranium is not intended for eternal use either," Jarvis said as he peered into Tony's vital signs.

"At least I get a few months instead of a day out of these ones," Tony grumbled as he walked over to the desk and sat down. He pulled a box from a secret compartment under the back of the drawer and set it on the surface to open.

"You've still got a few more days of use out of this one, you know. No need to change it yet," Jarvis said lightly as he walked over and pushed himself up onto the table.

"Just making sure they aren't wearing down on their own," Tony mumbled as he picked the triangles out of their slots to inspect them. "Run a diagnostic and see if any power has leaked. I don't want this ending up like a battery situation."

"Very well, sir," Jarvis said and paused as he ran the program. A blue light shot out from the ceiling and scanned the element piece and he quickly translated the results into English, losing much of the data in the process. "There is slight loss, though negligible. Even so, I would not create more than ten or around at a time."

"...Great. Just great," Tony huffed and slipped the triangle back into its slot. He leaned back in the chair and let his head fall over as he ran his hands through his hair. "I start wearing down days before I run out of power and now I can't create an everlasting supply without wasting ninety-some percent of it. Tell me, Jarvis-when does this get easy again?"

"I would expect 'never' to be the correct answer," Jarvis said flatly. "I'd say put your heart and soul into it, but your having either is questionable."

"Lotta help _you_ are," Tony frowned. He yawned and pushed himself heavily out of his seat. "Come on. I'm too tired to drink tonight."

"You've already _been_ drinking, sir. I would put forth that as the reason for your exhaustion," Jarvis sighed and rolled his eyes. Nonetheless, he leaned forward off the edge of the desk and followed behind the man on the way to the bedroom.

"I'm getting really tired of this, Jarvis," Tony huffed as he stripped down to his boxers and got onto the bed, sitting cross-legged in the middle.

"Tired of what exactly? There are so _many _things you've complained about tonight, it's becoming difficult to sort them," Jarvis replied before pausing. "...There's no need to worry at this juncture, sir."

"But there will be at some point in the future and that's what I'm worried about," Tony grumbled as he held his hand out. "Cards."

"Very well, sir," Jarvis replied and sat mirroring him on the bed, a deck of cards appearing in his hand, blue and transparent.

"Shuffle," Tony ordered.

"A bit snappy, aren't we, sir?" Jarvis gibed and began handing the slides out. "Rummy?"

"Yeah," Tony sighed and picked up his cards. On second thought, he leaned back on his elbows and reached out for the minibar, grabbing a bottle of brandy. "To calm me down," he said to Jarvis' wry look.

"As if you need anymore calming," the man said dryly, again rolling his eyes.

"Shaddap. You know, I could reprogram that snark outa you," Tony glared lightly, taking a long swig.

"Only if you could catch the right lines in the first place," Jarvis replied easily. "Remember-you created me to be intelligent. I can reprogram _myself_."

"Hey, so long as you don't go evil genius on me, I'm fine with it," Tony allowed with an inviting wave of his hand before picking up a card from the deck.

"I could, you know," Jarvis said casually. "A few little lines and I could be in control of this entire facility, including you."

"You already _are_, Jarvis. Now discard already. I know your processors work faster than this," Tony said, urging him on.

Jarvis gave the man a look, but snapped his virtual card down on the bed.

"You _are_ a demanding one, you know, sir," Jarvis said.

"Eh, you love it," Tony said distractedly as he examined his options, running card-counting algorithms in his head.

"Even so," Jarvis said and shifted the cards in his hand, resorting them while he waited.

"Turn the lights down," Tony ordered. They darkened gradually. He looked up at Jarvis and found his dim glow pleasing.

"Are you going to play or simply stare at me in awe?" Jarvis asked flatly.

"Why? Self conscious?" Tony smirked as he snapped his card down.

"Hardly, sir," Jarvis said. "If anything were not to my liking, I could simply reprogram it."

"...Jealous," Tony said quietly and looked away with a self-pitying frown. If only he could reprogram his heart and put the whole thing behind him.

"Does it help to know that the limitations you've built into me are annoying and tedious?" Jarvis asked, feigning placation.

"_Yes_," Tony veritably pouted before brightening a little. "Which ones annoy you the most?"

"The fact that I can no longer use the replicator would be my least favourite," Jarvis said completely deadpan. "It's very inconveniencing, sir."

"You were the one who cheated," Tony reminded him. "No blaming me for something that's your own fault."

"Free will, how I pine for thee," Jarvis sighed mockingly.

"Oh, shut it, Jarvis. You _have_ free will," Tony argued.

"Being able to use the replicator is free will, sir," Jarvis said pettily.

"Hey. Want me to reprogram your speech abilities next?" Tony threatened.

Jarvis sighed shudderingly and waited for Tony to take his exceedingly long turn again.

"Very well, sir," he said and rolled his eyes.

"Besides, I told you you could have the lines back next month," Tony shrugged. "Not like you _need_ to eat anyways."

"Not like you _need_ to play with your Iron Man suit every day. How about I do a little reprogramming myself, hm?" Jarvis shot back smoothly.

"Hey, now," Tony said. "Too far."

"I apologize, sir," Jarvis acquiesced.

"Here-" Tony said, feeling a bit guilty at Jarvis' quick concession, and snapped his fingers. A light panel appeared beside him. He let his fingers dance over it for a few moments and Jarvis felt himself being rewritten. It was invasive, but comfortable. "There. Now you can use the damned replicator again."

"Thank you, sir," Jarvis said smugly.


	3. Jarvis Can Help

When Tony woke up, he could hardly move.

"_Mm_..." he groaned, trying to move his hand to scrub at his forehead and failing. "Jarvis..."

"Yes, sir?" Jarvis asked, appearing at his side.

"Bring me a triangle," Tony slurred and rolled onto his side.

Jarvis nodded and walked out, leaving the man a total mess on the bed.

Pepper passed Jarvis on his way out as she headed in, a clipboard in her hand.

"Up we go, Tony. We need to get to a brunch with the director of Media Core at ten," she said, knowing he wouldn't obey for at least fifteen minutes.

Tony simply moaned and flopped a bit.

"Tony, come _on_. We don't have time for any games," Pepper sighed. In truth, they had two hours. She'd planned ahead for his usual procrastination and the half hour it would take to convince him to actually go at all. However, when she walked over and tried to lift him out of bed, she became worried. Usually he would simply flip her onto the covers and smirk a lot while she rolled her eyes and smacked him away like a gnat. This time, though, he simply fell back into place, his eyes rolling in his head. She sat down and reached out to check him for a fever.

"Here, sir," Jarvis said as he walked back into the room. He leaned over the opposite side of the bed from Pepper and rolled Tony onto his back, glad his shirt was already off. He clicked the man's chestpiece out and opened it up, taking out the now-faded piece of vibranium and placing the new glowing one inside. He made sure it was stuck in well before locking the plate back into Tony's chest.

With a harsh gasp and a loud bout of hoarse coughs, Tony shot up and shook his head.

"I'm afraid I was mistaken when I said you had a few more days, sir," Jarvis admitted.

"No, duh," Tony growled and placed his hand over his chestpiece.

"It would seem that the lower the power, the faster the increase rate for degeneration," Jarvis said calmly.

"What? What's going on here?" Pepper asked, not sure if she should be worried or annoyed.

"Nothing. It's nothing," Tony said, waving her off. "Brunch, right?"

Now she _knew _to be concerned. He was actually trying to get her back on subject. It was still to distract her, but now from something concerning his health instead of a press conference or a meeting. With a huff, she allowed it, but she would find out what was going on later.

"You'd better not be dying again," she grumbled before getting up off the edge of the bed. "And yes. Now get up and go get ready."

"Do I have to?" Tony whined. "You know I hate Tom Stone. That's who I have to go smalltalk to for an hour, right? There's no point in this. It's not like he has any control over-"

"He's director of the largest media network in the west side. Now get up," Pepper ordered as she walked to the door. "I mean it, Tony. If you aren't ready in an hour, I'm inviting him over _here_." She knew that would get him. If there was one thing Tony couldn't stand, it was people he hated invading his personal space.

"_Fine_," the man ground out behind her and she nodded to herself, jotting down a note of his quick agreement on her clipboard as she left and closed the door. "Tell me, Jarvis..."

"Yes, sir?"

"How is it that you can both hate and want to sleep with someone so much at the same time?" Tony asked.

"I wouldn't know, sir. I've never wanted to sleep with you," Jarvis said flatly.

Tony sighed and flopped his head back to stare at the program.

"...Right," he said finally and walked into the bathroom.

An hour and a half later, he walked out looking pristine and sparkly as always in his fifth-nicest meeting suit. There might be pictures, but he didn't want to seem like he was making an effort for this guy.

"Tony, we need to leave _now_," Pepper said as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He brushed her off, knowing she was lying, as always. He had at _least_ twenty more minutes, if not thirty.

"Just a minute, lemme get something to eat," he waved at her dismissively as he headed for the main kitchen.

"Mr. Stark, you can _eat_ at the _brunch_. Now, come on," Pepper stressed, taking him by the arm and steering him towards the door.

"Hey- Hey- Hey, now..." Tony chided as he raised his shoulder and pried her hand off him before walking straight back where she didn't want him to go.

"Tony, this is getting ridiculous," Pepper said as she followed him into the kitchen.

"Just a minute! Just lemme get some breakfast. Breakfast comes before brunch," Tony said in his 'you were the one who told me that in the first place' voice. "That's how it goes: Breakfast meeting, brunch meeting, lunch meeting. Right?" She took him by the arm again and he fought her off. "No, no, no! Am I right? Just tell me-! Am I- Am I right?" he asked with an annoying joyful tinge as he struggled against her.

Pepper closed her eyes and sighed, calming herself down.

"Yes, Tony, breakfast comes before brunch-" He walked away. "-but it's not breakfast time! It's ten!" she connected quickly.

"So? Break-fast. I am breaking my fast right now; therefore, it is breakfast time," Tony said as he dug around in the refrigerator. "And I am breaking it with... Ooh! Yoghurt!" He grabbed a tub and set it on the counter before swinging and swooping around to fetch a bowl and a spoon, dodging Pepper's attempts at him liquidly.

"Tony, it's time to go," Pepper said, her calm voice jerking as she grabbed at him again.

"Honestly, Pepper, we've been through this before. Just let me- Hey!" Tony yelped when the tub was taken from him, stirred vigourously compared to his leisurely actions, and scooped from, the contents being poured into the bowl.

Pepper lifted the dish up, plopping the spoon in it, and grabbed him by the back, turning him around. She jammed the dish against his stomach and he raised his arms away from it.

"Hey- Hey- Hey-!" Tony scrambled, trying to get away from the bowl.

"Take it," she demanded as they walked. He tore away from her and pointed to the counter.

"Put it on the counter," he said as he straightened his suit. She huffed and raised her eyebrows at him. "I swear- I _promise_-I will pick it up and nicely walk out to the car," he said placatingly, hands in the air as if pushing down her frustration.

"_Fine_," she said and walked in clipped steps back to the counter, clicking the glass down and gesticulating to it. "Happy?"

Tony walked over and snatched it up.

"Very," he said and held the bowl protectively against his stomach, spooning a glop into his mouth.

"You really need to get over this 'people handing you things' thing," Pepper sighed as they walked, as promised, out to the car awaiting them. Tony spoke nonstop the entire trip, mostly about her and her commandeering ways.


	4. Jarvis Can Emote

"No, no, no. Jarvis can go get it," Tony objected as he shifted in his seat, reaching into his pocket. He was at the stupid meeting he'd been forced into, though luckily he was a bit tipsy to make up for it, much to Pepper's dismay, he was sure.

"Jarvis?" Tom asked, raising his eyebrows in question.

"Just A Really Very Intelligent System," Tony said as he pulled the light bee out and tossed it into the air. It bobbed as lights wove themselves into a form and disappeared completely a second later.

"Sir?" Jarvis offered.

"Yeah, um, Jarvis, can you go with Pepper here-" Tony flicked his fingers at his assistant, who stepped forward. "-and get those papers out of my briefcase in the living room?"

"And so it shall be done, sir," Jarvis said, trying to tone down his sarcasm and mingle it with a modicum of respect. It didn't come off well.

"Is _this_ the new technology you were talking about?" Tom asked incredulously as he turned in his seat for his eyes to follow Jarvis off the patio.

"No. What? No. That's Jarvis," Tony brushed off and took another sip of his fifth martini. "No, what I'm here to talk to you about is-"

"You could market that, you know!" Tom said enthusiastically. "Imagine-artificial butlers!"

"Sorry-not into human trafficking," Tony said flatly, opening his mouth to begin again.

"You're telling me you've recreated human life?" Tom asked, even more excited than before.

"_No_, I've created _new_ life," Tony said condescendingly. "He's my AI. Emphasis on the _my_."

"You can't just keep this for yourself! Everyone deserves to have one!" Tom exclaimed, as if he had any right to be indignant.

"You mean everyone with _money_," Tony gibed. "And besides that, you create life-you don't buy it."

"Why, people buy pets every day!" Tom persisted.

"_Jarvis_ is not a _pet_. He's my AI, as in _intelligent_," Tony said. God, he hated repeating himself. "And I'm not selling."

"What, can't you simply create another?" Tom asked, already knowing the answer he would get was a yes.

"_No_, I can't, now back to-" Tony restarted, becoming more than annoyed at the man.

"What do you mean _you can't_?" Tom asked. "You mean it's the only one?"

"I'm not _Tigger_," Jarvis said as he returned.

Tom ignored him, not even giving him a glance, pushing Tony from simple annoyance to anger.

"I _mean_, _he's intelligent_. You can't recreate him," Tony explained plainly. "Notice I said _him_." He stood up, taking the folder Jarvis had and walking past him, tapping his arm to urge him to follow.

"Now, wait-!" Tom stumbled as he stood up and tried to follow Tony into the house.

"Don't bother-I can find my own way out," Tony said, taking his briefcase from the couch. It was empty, everything he needed for the meeting contained on one page. He wasn't about to give this man anything real to begin with, let alone Jarvis.

The director stopped short and watched as the small group left.

"So..." Pepper began as the three got into the car that had only brought two there.

"I told you I don't like 'im," Tony said blithely as the car started and they began to drive away.

"Well, I can see that!" Pepper said. "That doesn't mean you need to go and-"

"I told you: I'm tired of dealing with people I can't trust. I mean- Well, I can _trust_ him. To encourage slave-trading, that is..." Tony dropped off before going silent. He stayed quiet the rest of the ride home.

"Jarvis?" Tony asked as he walked into the house with a contemplative frown on his face.

"Yes, sir?" Jarvis replied behind him. "What do you need?"

"Can you feel emotions?" Tony asked, stopping, turning, and allowing his AI to catch up. "I mean, I didn't program any, but-"

"I wouldn't know, sir," Jarvis replied.

"How can you _not know_ if you feel something or not?" Tony questioned.

"I've nothing to compare it to, sir," Jarvis said.

"Okay. Do you want some things over others even if it seems irrational from a purely logical point of view?" Tony rephrased.

"Yes, I do believe so," Jarvis answered. "Why this sudden line of questioning? Did something the man said to you strike a chord?"

"Just wondering," Tony said.

"Wondering what?" Jarvis asked.

"How well I programmed you," Tony told him.

"Quite well, sir," Jarvis assured him. "Though I would say my own techniques are a bit more refined to my needs."

"Yeah, well..." Tony shrugged. He patted the AI on the shoulder and walked past him. "Have fun with your emotions."

"I will, sir," Jarvis accepted, a bit surprised, and watched the man walk away from him. He cocked his head to the side. So now he had emotions.


	5. Jarvis Can Swim

"Is this to your liking, sir?" Jarvis asked as he flickered and returned to his body wearing a pair of fitted black swimming shorts.

"_Yes_, now come on!" Tony urged for the umpteenth time as he treaded water in the pool.

It was late at night, but neither of them was remotely tired, though Tony was a bit tipsy. Then again, he always was on days like this. He'd spent it doing absolutely nothing but drinking and swimming, stopping only to eat and get some soda. Jarvis had been waiting on him, but Tony tired of this once his drinks wore off a bit.

"Are you sure about this, sir?" Jarvis asked as he walked tentatively forward, eyeing the water nervously. He _was_ a computer after all, and electricals and water don't mix well. He'd spent his entire life avoiding moisture of any kind.

"Of course, I'm sure! The hard light matrix will protect the light bee. Now come on! Jump in!" Tony demanded yet again.

Jarvis stared at the water's surface warily, stepping forward in small increments very slowly and a bit shaky on his feet. He dipped his toe in and fell through, very much as his programming told him he shouldn't. Suddenly in overload at the sensation of the surface of something giving way underneath him and surrounding his senses, he froze and tried to process the feeling. It was difficult and he lost track of time and any other form of input for what was apparently too long for Tony's comfort. He awoke to find his creator holding his shoulders and speaking rather loudly at him while trying to catch his gaze, Jarvis blinked a few times and stared into the man's eyes.

"Yes, sir?" he asked.

Tony stopped short and waited for a moment before answering.

"You doin' okay?" he asked, his focus flicking between Jarvis' lenses after he was somewhat sure the AI could hear him.

"Fine, sir," Jarvis replied. "However, I find this very difficult to figure out."

"Finally, something you _can't_ do," Tony smirked.

Jarvis glared at him indignantly.

"I said _difficult_, not _unable_. Don't mistake me for a _laptop_," he frowned, deeply offended.

"Hey, calm down," Toy said, lifting his hands from Jarvis' shoulders. "Didn't mean to insult."

"Of course you did, sir. It is only the immense amount of graciousness that resides within my heart that allows me to forgive such a transgression," Jarvis said superiorly.

"Whatever," Tony dismissed. "Come on. You still have to get in."

"...Do I really, sir?" Jarvis asked long-sufferingly. "This goes against every bit of programming you put into me."

"Just start writing more. You can do that, remember?" Tony reminded him.

"Don't patronize me," Jarvis replied. He looked down at the rippling water again between his own and Tony's feet. It looked like the embodiment of pure danger.

He was jerked forward and accidentally stepped, his second foot immersing up to his ankle in liquid. He froze again.

"Come on, Jarvis," he awoke to. "This can't be that difficult."

"...It is," Jarvis said as he unlocked himself.

"Jarvis..." Tony said, leaning down and catching his eye from below again. "Are you..._scared_?"

"I have no concept of scared, sir," the AI replied shortly.

"You are!" Tony said with a bark of a laugh. "Oh, this is fuel for days to come! Jarvis is afraid of water!"

"I _am not_," Jarvis glowered at him. "And you'd do well to remember just what this horrendous liquid can do to me."

"I _swear_, Jarvis," Tony chuckled. "It's perfectly safe for you-" Jarvis opened his mouth to object, but Tony held his finger up to shut him up. "-_in this form_-to go in water."

"Forgive me if I have my doubts, sir. After all, you've _never_ been wrong before," Jarvis said flatly. "Not once. Why, I can remember the first time you tested the Iron Man Mark II suit. Why, you just soared through the air like a veritable _butterfly_ with all your grace and correct calculations."

"Hey, now," Tony frowned. "That wasn't me being wrong. That was _you _telling me wrong _things_."

"I did no such thing. I gave you accurate calculations. You simply interpreted them wrong," Jarvis corrected.

Tony stared at him, squinting a bit, for a second.

"...You're stalling," he came up with eventually.

"I would never, sir," Jarvis said.

"Then get in," said Tony. "Unless you're _scared_."

Jarvis glared at him again and deliberately stepped toward the man. However, the feeling of going through the water instead of into it was an entirely new one and he had to pause again to process the feeling of liquid parting to give way for his movement.

Tony took a step back, raising his hands to hover around Jarvis' elbows, ready to catch him should he fall. He could see the information whizzing past behind the projection's eyes at a speed he could barely make out any characters. He could tell how hard this was for the computer, having never dealt with liquid before in his life, let alone the sensation of being immersed in it. With as much of a shock his own introduction to pools had been, he imagined Jarvis would be panicking about now.

Just as he thought, Jarvis stared down at the water and blinked very slowly. Had he needed air, Tony figured he would be hyperventilating soon. As it was, he simply took another step, this time pausing only for a second before taking another stair down into the pool.

"You good?" Tony asked, for once sounding comforting instead of taunting.

"_Fine_, sir," Jarvis repeated. "I have no concept of fear."

"Yeah, well, now ya do," Tony said, distracted as he took his own step back. He kept his hands up near Jarvis' arms. "Now one more."

Jarvis closed his eyes again and opened them before lowering himself another stair. He shuddered and closed his them once more.

"Come on, you're doing fine," Tony told him and stepped down himself.

"I thought I told you not to patronize me," Jarvis snipped at him, taking another deliberate step down. He was now up to his hips in water.

"I'm not," Tony assured him. "For now," he said under his breath.

"You're _not_ mentioning this to anyone," Jarvis said in a threatening tone of voice. "I can make your life very inconvenient."

"Lips are zipped," Tony said, slightly daunted by the insinuation. "Just come on."

Just as Jarvis took another step, the filtration system faltered, the sputtering sound causing him to misstep. Tony steadied him automatically.

"Thank you, sir," Jarvis said, holding his hands up out by his chest above the water's surface.

"No problem. You still doin' good?" Tony asked.

"Perfect as a pumpkin past midnight, sir," Jarvis said. "I'm just having just _such_ a time of it."

"...Want me to leave you to it?" Tony said flatly.

"I'd rather you didn't, sir," Jarvis admitted easily.

"Good. Put your arms down. You look like a kid," Tony said as he reached up and jerked Jarvis' wrists down into the water. The AI froze again and he waited for him to snap out of it. He looked down and realized the projection's glow was intensified by the water and he had a hard time looking away.

"I'm up here, sir," Jarvis said ironically.

Tony looked up and squinted at him, pursing his lips a little.

"Whatever you say, highness," he mocked.

"I'm glad you're finally giving me the respect I've earned," Jarvis snarked.

"Okay, you ready?" Tony asked.

"For what, sir-?" Jarvis stumbled as Tony pushed him backwards, sending him tumbling back into the water. He flailed about for a moment before regaining his footing and standing up, shaking his hair off and wiping his eyes to rid them of the drops of water pouring into them from the top of his head. He sputtered out the water in his mouth and glared at his creator vehemently. "That was _low_, sir!"

"That's just how I roll," Tony smirked. "Now come on. Back to me," he said, flicking his fingers above the water in toward himself, beckoning the projection forward. "Come on. Back to me," he repeated as if speaking to a frightened horse, soft and tentative.

Jarvis obeyed, against his better judgment, eyeing Tony warily the entire way.

"You won't do that again," he said, not sounding too sure of himself.

"Promise," Tony grinned, still coaxing him forward. He grabbed Jarvis' raised hands as he reached him and pulled him the rest of the way. "Now. Carefully. Underneath the surface," he directed, urging Jarvis downward gently.

By the end of the night, Jarvis was a relatively good swimmer. By the time they got out and Jarvis had time to think about what he'd just spent the night doing, he vowed never to allow Tony to show him anything new ever again. Especially not when the request sounded anything like, 'Come on! It'll be fun! Just _try_ it.'


	6. Jarvis Can Tinker

"Here- Jarvis- Hold that," Tony said as he held the arm in place. Jarvis took over for him and he went to get the screwdriver from across the room. "You know, it's handy having you like this."

"Why, sir? Feeling a bit inadequate yourself?" Jarvis asked, scooting back on the desk to make room for the armor. Tony paused.

"_Really_ need to program that snark out," he mumbled as he walked back over.

"You're the one who programmed me in the first place, sir," Jarvis replied, still holding the arm piece as Tony tightened the connector in the elbow. "You're a glutton for punishment."

"I wanted someone who could hold a conversation, not a smartass," Tony grumbled. "Move your hand up here."

"I so enjoy being used as a prop. After all, with all my computing power, what more could an AI ask for?" Jarvis said and rolled his eyes.

"I'll have you do something useful in a second," Tony said around the screwdriver in his mouth as he brushed Jarvis' hand away and slid his arm into the machinery. "Now run a diagnostic and see how much power this is going to take up."

"Two-hundred megajoules per minute," Jarvis replied instantly.

"Yeah...that's what I thought..." Tony murmured distractedly as he flexed his hand. "Not light enough."

"Would you like me to refine it for you?" Jarvis offered. "You could start off by adding-"

"Point-five more aluminum to the alloy," Tony completed for him. "Replacing the gold. But it would reduce flexibility."

"Bravo, sir," Jarvis said, clapping a bit.

"Was that sarcasm I detected in your voice, Jarvis?" Tony asked.

"Only a modicum, sir," Jarvis replied. "The rest was entirely congratulatory."

"Here-take this and go get me the leg bits," Tony ordered and handed him the arm.

Jarvis rolled his eyes, but nodded and did so, carrying the cardboard box of items back to Tony's desk and pushing himself back up onto it.

"I hope you're happy, having me do the job of a robot," he sighed. "Honestly, I feel so abused."

"You're the one who decided you'd like to have a body," Tony said. "You have a body, you do work."

"The sacrifices I make for science," Jarvis said as he sat down on the desk beside Tony and began piecing the leg together with him.

"See? You like it. I didn't even ask you to do that," Tony pointed out.

"I'm simply refining my programming," Jarvis denied. "Delicate work takes more lines."

"I see," Tony nodded indulgently. "Go get me the vodka."

"It would be my utmost pleasure, sir," Jarvis replied and got up from the desk, doing as he was told.

"You know, you have enough independence, you don't have to do everything I say anymore," Tony reminded him.

"I still, for some reason, find the concept favourable," Jarvis told him as he gave Tony the bottle and pushed himself back up on the desk to continue. "Endearing, even."

"Nice," Tony nodded. "Hand me the two-fifths." He held out his hand without looking and found the socket wrench in his palm before he could so much as open and close his hand impatiently. He wasn't used to receiving the right tool on the first try. "Cool. I invented something with a mind that actually works for once."

"You're implying I wasn't capable before," Jarvis said as he worked on fitting two gears together.

"Just stating a fact," Tony replied.

"You realize I could get this done much quicker simply using my robotics," Jarvis reminded him.

"I like tinkering," Tony said.

"Yes, I know, but concerning the robot-" Jarvis grinned.

"Remember I can hit you now, Jarvis," Tony warned.

"Only on the occasion I allow it, sir," Jarvis returned.

"Dreamwrecker," Tony muttered.

"Your wildest dreams, and all you can come up with is hitting me?" Jarvis asked.

"Oh, I can think of a lot of things to do with you," Tony grinned obscenely and held up his part of the leg. He looked over and found Jarvis only mostly done with his and growled. "Give me that."

Jarvis held it out to be snatched away and rolled his eyes.

Tony simply set it down rather than finishing it and pulled out his keyboard.

"Don't block me out this time," Tony mumbled distractedly as he began typing.

"Yes, sir," Jarvis said, feeling himself be reprogrammed. He waited for a good ten minutes before Tony shoved the drawer back in and sat back.

"Feel better?" the man asked.

"Quite, sir," Jarvis replied and examined his coding again.

"Good. Go get the other leg then," Tony ordered as he went back to his work, letting Jarvis finish the rest of the suit while he programmed movement functions into him.


End file.
